I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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