Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
