I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
