I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
