just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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