I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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