I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
