New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
