All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
