Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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