i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
