is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
