allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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