To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize