it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
it's like heaven, but drunker
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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