sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
