Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize