Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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