I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize