ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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