I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
