i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
