well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize