that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
