are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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