Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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