Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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