Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
