I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
