To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize