I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
