well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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