so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
