I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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