if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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