You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
