guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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