bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
