So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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