Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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