Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
