Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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