please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
