yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
