you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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