Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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