Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
