it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
