apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
