I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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