We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
