I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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