I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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