Where is the hickey?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
