I'm really into asian looking animals
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
