Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
