Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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