yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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